New plan

What would it be to pretend that everything I want is already with me? What would it look like if I woke up feeling worthy, excited, confident that everything is happening for me exactly as it's supposed to? Where would I direct my energy? What tasks would I prioritise and get done? What relationships would I foster and how would I treat my body?

Going at it all, all at once seems a bit full on, but if I take it piece by piece... Consider each one carefully. Consider that actually, one by one, it's possible and actually, that means the whole lot is then possible too.

What are the things I can start with now that are achievable? Well, I can write, which is what I've been doing. Metabolising my feelings at least into something - rather than keeping them all inside me.

Next, I can focus on being present and at a slow and steady pace. This one's important for me because this is how I usually fall from grace. I get way too ahead of myself and set myself up to fail moments after the go. Yes - building a steady foundation is essential. Breathing, meditating, and painfully - avoiding that morning coffee I'm afraid to say. How do I finally kick that habit? Its so fucking good. Especially when I'm out at a cafe. But every time, I always am profoundly surprised by how much better I feel on days I don't take coffee. From my head down to my toes.

Eventually, I always forget the danger and slip back in by having just a cheeky one. Is there a way for me to monitor these patterns, study the data and outsmart myself? Or will I just have to ~cringe~ fix my willpower?

Absolutes are shite though, aren't they? Shite and unsustainable. Is there a way for me to indulge every so often? Am I capable of such things? Grey was never my best zone to rest in.

Alright. Cutting down on meat must be the next thing. It's been so enjoyable to indulge, but I don't think it's been good for me in a longevity sense. It's a lot for my body to process, and I always feel much better after a wholesome vego meal.

Is that enough for now? Do I consider all options, mind-mapping as a starting point and then refining all the options?

The next one would have to be exercise. Can I get into a routine of walking? Can I do the beach boardwalk? I would just need to arrange the cars, talk to dad so that mine's out front first in the morning, then it's easy enough for me to get going. It's a pleasant place to walk and maybe I could get into a vibe with it. Again, the consistency is the difficult part because I'll certainly get bored after two weeks. At least I can try, right? And up the weights training too.

Ok the last wellness thing I want to get into is meditation. I'd like to really get serious about this every day, for a whole hour. No chit chatter, just silence and release. Something to remind me that I am safe, I am exactly where I need to be and to be so grateful for everything.

After that we will have the creative stuff. Making the intuition cards. Doing the painting. Considering other more organised writing exploits. Yes. Hmm.